when i is lowercase

I used to believe in me, to cherish my dreams
Even in the throes of pain and grief
Despite the anger of non-forgiving
Of endless days and nights not living

Future time arrives, yet no wishes reside here
Always pushing them in front, while holding them near out of fear
As if keeping them close means they won't go
Like a star-filled sky lighted by the moon's soft glow

Each star has slowly fallen, tragically misplaced
The sky has grown darker with no stars replaced
Changes have come and my life has moved along
But I'm not where I want to be at all

so now I has become i and you has become u
night is nite and right it rite and true is tru
other voices, other dreams overcome my own
i travel and live in hotels, never seeing my home

even my phone has a lowercase i
apostrophe taken from words (im not sure y?)
i can barely understand the sayings in this land
ftw used to mean "fuck the world", somehow it became "for the win"

so what do i use when i want to express
(without spelling it out)
my extreme, bitter unhappiness
to scream i hate everybody and everything?
to shout every dream is in the toilet or down the drain?
but i wont fish them out
cause now, damn it, ftw dont work