Who I Am

Words cannot describe how I feel Weak, hackneyed, incomplete None of them real The beauty and the pain The love rising up When I cry out your name Your kiss, the curve of your lips The flush of warmth divine Only for me, only mine I had waited and waited, and waited some more For a perfect love, someone to adore Until I could wait no more So, I trashed and burned my desires Quit being a child consumed by fires A child with stories, hiding, a liar When the ashes cooled and the true me remained I could be myself, no longer empty No longer chained Only then could I really see you Without expectation or rejection I accept that you love me, too

From the depths From deep, dark down Dirty and earthen bound I cry In this hole Seeping, yawing Arms clutching and mauling Inside On the edge Slipping, falling Creatures crawl, claw, calling Then hide Dread omen A little crow Cawing out to and fro He flies You look up Far off, up high Above casting soft light Stars shine Open hands Unable to touch Unwelcome and unloved We die

I feel content when I'm not content Hurting too much Mentally crushed Pushed, shoved, bent Roughed a bit up Not the physical pain This body means nothing A vessel to spill For blood to fill Bones and skin Nothing to me But what holds me within My mind and spirit, my soul Flies on wings Listening to the flutter Sounds pulsating out Blinking, tingling Delighting in agony divine Other people's pain heightening mine Words witty and sharp Laughing like a lark Frighteningly cold, intentionally bold Simply to see the confusion The daggers arise from such beautiful eyes Flashing, finally alive They glare with hatred into mine So I push this dark out of my skin Sinister intentions Malicious purpose Angelic demons breaking the surface Then squirming back in

I spot you from afar Yet you haven't a clue How amazing you are In this loud, crowded room Your grace shines, shimmers out Setting the place aglow High angels swoop and swoon To touch you as they fall Clamoring to be close Each vie for attention Screech, scream--you don't see them Your eyes are linked with mine Perfection does not exist But for the breath released By your lips You whisper deep into me Warmth trickles down and through My open throat Full and whole, gulping, wanton Awash with your pure love I drown

desolate, dull and dreary in this courtyard dim noises eerie of scraping and clicking scurry on the periphery, creatures slinking into the shade, sensing the need to escape to hide far away forbidden mysteries, secret sins exchanged by the dime but his appetites aren't quite the norm nor his chilled, aphotic grin normally chatty, she stays silent movement black and blurred sudden and grim she's pushed up to the cold wall (so she don't fall) pressed hard into the rough bricks again and again and again left alone now to be found solitary and motionless, soon a large crowd gathers round to gape at internal organs fleshed and splayed out the price paid to earn her lodging for the night

Push it open a crack Gawk Hold up a tiny hand Dust and light gathers through Sweeping out from the room Heave hard against the sturdy frame A wooden door Neglected Hinges squeak A rusty scream Scared, fall onto the floorboards Listening for sounds within Sounds without Sounds up and down Any notice or shout Nothing Silence Grin, push the door a bit again