Who I Am

I've tried to hide who I am To pray each day would pass away Through Facade, Lies, Pretend Never knowing what to say I have locked myself into a room Shut the windows and barred them tight Blocked the light to let in gloom Fraught with unwillingness and fright Some have talent and let it go Others only an ember which fuels a flame Creating a fire filled with smoke Leading to mastery and fame Instead I sit to watch the chill Enter this room to freeze me more Any warmth turns to ice in the still Words become taxed, labored, a chore I've hidden well who I am I would pray each day yet it flees away In the thoughtlessness where sadness begins Slowly leading to my grave

Hear my heart to sing to me As stars sink slowly on the horizon As the moon slowly drifts away As the sun softly rises See my eyes, look at me for once Not thinking of you or your wants Only to me, inside me, to see who I am Touching my private thoughts Believe in me and my dreams Lift me up to the horizon On a pedestal of gold blazing toward the sun To envelop me in warmth Tell me who you are now, my love Let me know you as you have known me Intimate, souls combining Merging and yet unique Hear our hearts singing together As stars slowly rise in the night sky As the moon emerges from shadow Clear and bright shining over eternity

Incense burns nearby wafting, assaulting me in heady daze Colors coalesce, shift within vibrant hues Then blaze then dull to swerve to greys Noises drift off as I turn into a side street Cobblestones crumbling lined by stark walls A faint humming from an open window Where laundry hangs flapping in the breeze Even more distant horns beeping, voices call From the marketplace where vendors and patrons meet My steps are random, slow and unsure Thoughts trying to form into a single line What dark melody in my mind does then bestir With a single word paramount, a single place lost in doubt To understand my musings, when the lure of possibility takes hold How trains of thought are found then lost How dreams spin in and out First hear the story then decide Once upon a time there was a maiden who had a dream In that dream the maiden is myself, living a few years hence In a land on the coast of Africa where green valleys drop into the sea In a white house on a hill above the valley In a place wh

Haven't read "1 The First Sign" yet? Go read it here ! 2 - Swirling into Darkness After that night, I tried to be around other people as much as possible, not walking alone or staying out very late. Eventually, only a few weeks later, I had already convinced myself that it was all a hallucination of some sorts and re-initiated myself into my declining morality. I was more out of control now having glimpsed the terror of death, trying to enjoy life to its fullest. I would dance every night. I began using narcotics I had passed up before. I avoided being alone at every opportunity and would take home partners one after the other each night. It didn’t matter if it was the same or a different one (on some occasions more than one) so long as I had someone with me. I started leaving lights on at the first blush of dusk until daybreak. When I did sleep at night rather than during the day, I would have vivid nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat to realize that I had slum

Where It All Begins If you are fond of vampire tales or other macabre manifestations of the night, you might have noticed a trend for redundancy in such narratives. “Damned for Eternity” is a short novella that attempts to put a new twist on the blood suckers of yore. Teaser excerpt from later in the story: The vampire smiled at me with the teeth bared. Its eyes piercing me with a cold, metallic glint as it softly whispered in clear-cut tones of finality close enough to me so that I could feel no breath brushing my cheek with each word, “We do not cast shadows as we are shadows, shades, darkness, night. We are evil from hell and hell-bound. We come from the Inferno to collect the souls of man to damn each one forever and ever. If you do not believe in us or our Maker, then you are not saved and will live with us in eternal night for all time.” A pale, bluish hand, razor thin with nails delicately pointed, reached up to brush against my face in the lightest caress. I could feel the cool

I should note that most of the poems I'm putting up here are older as I'm trying to get all my okay to better poems online on this blog so I have a list of them. Before, they were all on my forum writing site and harder to group. Anyway, I should date these so people don't think they are new pieces, since I don't think they are as good as some I've already posted. Melody without any music plays in my head today A faded, melancholic tune repeating senselessly Streaming thoughts with distant patterns continue endlessly I have tried too many times to banish them away without success Hapless happenstance; hopeless circumstance equally moot Sitting and silently waiting while nothing truly changes Stout walls, a half-cracked mirror, books with yellow and curled pages Dreams of long ago have lost their romance or truth only to regress Drying, wasted tears redden on a parched and paling face The fears of all the days leading onward cling to each other Where I am alone with