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If I Wake Up

I gave my heart away
To another person who didn't deserve it
Who didn't want it
Here I am alone again, fading
Watching cars pass
A lit cigarette in my hand

I walk to the liquor store
After another meal by myself
Another restaurant familiar and known
I ordered meat this time
After being a vegetarian for a year
Because why should I really care

There's a bottle in the fridge
Put there tonight
Even though it's mid-week
And I didn't even used to drink

There are grey hairs
Sprouting out of my skull
I'd pluck them all
But my hair is already too thin

So I'll get drunk soon
Like my father did when I was a kid
It won't help; it won't lessen anything
I won't be able to sleep better
I'll still be alone in the morning
If I wake up at all

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