Who I Am

There's a bird in a tree and he's singing to me An enchanting love song of springtimes long gone Oh, please don't fly away Come here and stay Flutter your wings in the breeze Sing, sweetly please Be here with me When I tight close my eyes, such a vision devise Where light patterns grow; where these shadows will go Whence they have sprung As this bird's song is sung To undo what's been done Back, bring me back My family Yet a crow's cawing loud in this harsh winter shroud Hopping around in his cold leafless tree Oh, do get thee away Here must I stay Listening to your wretched tune Where death is never far But never soon

I long to die To fall through these holes To a space that doesn't exist Suspended in time I tried for years To forget who I am To live each day as a day Without tears Without any regrets So I've prayed and prayed Here I've stayed and stayed I have waited around Hoping, wishing Hanging onto a vision But nothing has changed Beyond the wrinkles and veins Blood coursing through me Breaths going in and out Brooding in fear and in doubt What is the point of it all I can't be alone I can't be with you I can't be with anyone It's the plain, simple truth I long to die To fall through these holes To a space that doesn't exist I can't continue to live

Ingredients 1 lb chicken thighs, already boned 3 eggs beaten with a whisk 1/2 cup cornstarch for egg mixture 2 tsp cornstarch for sauce mixture 5 dried pepper pods (using mexican dried pepper pods is fine) 1 & 1/2 tbsp rice vinegar 3 tbsp rice wine 1 & 1/2 tbsp sugar 4 tbsp soy sauce 1 and 1/2 tbsp hoisin sauce 1/2 tbsp garlic 1 tsp grated ginger root Directions Step 1 Mixing - In a large bowl, blend 1/2 cup of cornstarch and the pre-beaten eggs using a wire whisk until thoroughly combined. Should be a lemony yellow color at this point. Cut up the chicken pieces (de-boned thigh meat) into bite size pieces (around 6-8 pieces per full thigh piece), then add the chicken to the egg mixture and toss to coat. Step 2 Mixing - In a small bowl, prepare the sauce mixture by combining 2 tsp cornstarch with the rice wine, rice vinegar, sugar, soy sauce, hoisin sauce, garlic and grated ginger root. For the ginger root, ensure to get fresh ginger root, then cut off the skin of it before gr...

Ingredients 2 1/2 pounds chicken thighs 1 and 1/2 white onions 2 minced garlic cloves 1/2 tsp paprika 2 large tomatoes 1 red bell pepper 1 green bell pepper salt and pepper to taste 1 package of prosciutto 1 shot of Cognac or Marsala Olive oil Directions Chop the onions and tomatoes. Dice the green and red bell peppers. Tear apart the prosciutto into pieces. Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan. Add the chopped onions, minced garlic and chicken until the chicken is browned and the onion turns golden. Pour Cognac or Marsala over the chicken. Add the prosciutto and mix. Add the paprika, some salt and pepper, then mix again. Add the rest of the ingredients, mix well. Cover and simmer on medium heat for around 45 minutes. Serves 6-8 people.

Numb, wanting wanting to be dumb Blind with senses heightened Yet dampened Rambling Talking to myself In this self-made hell Eating chocolate instead of substance Drinking acid so it burns me Since I really want to be consumed By some sort of passion Some sort of sensation or embrace Embers only replace The mask that descends No friends, nothing but misguided whining Needing a glimmer Shining Darkness Stark and repressed emotions Salt in this ocean Bitterly swimming Writing a poem while I'm drunk Not really sure anymore Why I am not just out Giving blowjobs as a whore Since I'm not better inside Than those I pretend to be better than Those I deride I'd ride a wave of sin Let the blackness in To a soul that I don't own Where everything is always me Never moving Never doing Never free

I gave my heart away To another person who didn't deserve it Who didn't want it Here I am alone again, fading Watching cars pass A lit cigarette in my hand I walk to the liquor store After another meal by myself Another restaurant familiar and known I ordered meat this time After being a vegetarian for a year Because why should I really care There's a bottle in the fridge Put there tonight Even though it's mid-week And I didn't even used to drink There are grey hairs Sprouting out of my skull I'd pluck them all But my hair is already too thin So I'll get drunk soon Like my father did when I was a kid It won't help; it won't lessen anything I won't be able to sleep better I'll still be alone in the morning If I wake up at all

This recipe comes from Better Homes and Gardens' "Cream Puffs" recipe, but rather than filling with sweet fillings, I instead change it to have cheddar. It ends up tasting like a pastry dish, good for any time of the day even breakfast. Ingredients 1 cup water 1/2 cup butter 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 cup all-purpose flour 4 eggs 1 1/2 cups of grated sharp cheddar cheese Directions Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease a baking sheet 9 x 15in. In a medium saucepan, stir together water, butter and salt until they boil. Add flour all at once, stirring vigorously until it forms a ball. Remove from heat, then add 1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese. Cool for 10 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well with a wooden spoon after each. Drop 12 evenly formed heapings of the dough onto the baking sheet. Bake for 25 minutes, then pull out and sprinkle cheddar cheese on top of each. Cook 5 minutes more until the cheese is melted. Remove from the dish and cool. Can chill and reheat for...