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Never free

Numb, wanting wanting to be dumb
Blind with senses heightened
Yet dampened
Rambling
Talking to myself
In this self-made hell

Eating chocolate instead of substance
Drinking acid so it burns me
Since I really want to be consumed
By some sort of passion
Some sort of sensation or embrace
Embers only replace
The mask that descends

No friends, nothing but misguided whining
Needing a glimmer
Shining
Darkness
Stark and repressed emotions
Salt in this ocean
Bitterly swimming

Writing a poem while I'm drunk
Not really sure anymore
Why I am not just out
Giving blowjobs as a whore
Since I'm not better inside
Than those I pretend to be better than
Those I deride

I'd ride a wave of sin
Let the blackness in
To a soul that I don't own
Where everything is always me
Never moving
Never doing
Never free

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