Who I Am

Calm, quiet, displaced Gentle embers fade Away into the stillness Uncertain and unwilling Within slow, slowing, chilling as light is abating unfolding space Closing, singed and dazed Each flame gone, replaced By comfort; by harsh neglect No life left just circumspect Discarded, dead reflections majestic, separate imperfections An incantation As we disappear Bring back the life to us here Lift up our souls so we see Another dawn, please set us free twilight shadows echo captivity All is lost, lost and forlorn Knowing this, we still move on A band of nomads Misfits, miscreants Wandering amidst the mist locked into this time, stopped we must exist

I am the malcontent Here I am Tired, spent Worthless, null Void and dull Languishing, infertile soul A cipher filled Dark matter Meaningless and chilled Killing, killed By your laughter But not your apathy When you refuse to see me I will take your soul Spit it out whole Tear away your face When you run From the blackness From the pain From your own shame Pitched, reeling No ground No ceiling Not even the sky Nowhere to hide Just empty space I am coming for you I wait in the shadows Lurking on the ledge I live in these surfaces Of blades that cut Waiting to slit you up Into your dreams I will enter unseen Take out all the light Until you cannot believe In anything Not even me Who could I be?

Into the abyss A cavern endlessness Filled with emptiness Lingering, then going down Sad...sad...das..asd Words jumbled, meaning tumbled I am lost, fumbled, crumpled I can't be found Chilled, deep water Fall, fall, falling Calling your name As I forget my own Floating Luminous, glowing Flowing No longer knowing with skin puffed out Drowned I know what this poem sounds like, but then I also know it can be interpreted more than one way for what I intended to mean. It isn't just intended to have the physical meaning of the words. I am trying to strip away at words to get to the heart of meaning and paint a picture in this one as well as a few others recently. Hopefully, it came out okay.

"Hello, is Dani there?" You call me up out of the blue It's been over four years Since I heard from you Just want to see how I'm doin' You broke my trust repeatedly Deceived me; stole from me Despite all the pain, I let you in To a place I usually hide I have thought of you Less and less, though Letting you go, not wanting to know If you were still alive Yeah, I can't help you almost died The other night had to be hospitalized Due to low T-cell counts And drinking your guts out Oh, you're taking your meds again Wonder how long that'll last? Hope you pop some anti-psychotics With those antibiotics Great to hear you feel fine now Even if you live day by day Worried another person Will break into your place (Wow, too bad to hear some mugger took all your cash from your last paycheck that would have paid your rent so you could not get kicked out) I would love to love you still But I know you too well You don't deserve to be my friend You would rather p

I want to believe in anything beyond me inviolate and strong always right never wrong I want to trust flowing with light, with love find beauty in everything the promise of sunny spring I want to hope to dream of neverland where I can be a child again free, running through the sand playing by the sea I want to wish to feel your soft kiss to sit outside in the sun never turning red golden, beautiful, young I want to live I can live here with you grow old my friend, my soul singing the days into the night until we both turn in then turn out the light